So, you’ve decided to start working with a coach, excellent, take a moment to pat yourself on the back for taking the initiative! How are you going to proceed from here? What questions do you ask of potential coaches? What are the important elements of your decision? Selecting a coach can be challenging, and it should be. Not only are you are committing your time and money to this relationship; but perhaps more important, you’re committing your hope. Hope to feel happier. Hope to grow in our career. Hope to be a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend, a better family member. Hope for a better future.
This article is intended to act as an awareness tool. It includes some items for your consideration and a printable worksheet at the bottom that can be used during exploratory meeting(s) with potential coaches.
Rapport:
I was listening to a podcast in early June and the guest (a clinical therapist and author) was asked about selecting the right therapist. His answer went something like this: “If you’re looking for a top 10 list, just repeat the word ‘rapport’ ten times and you’ll have your list.”
Why is rapport so crucial in a coaching relationship? For the same reasons it is in any relationship. Rapport is the catalyst for an open expression of thoughts and feelings, honest feedback, mutual accountability; and ideally, a genuine concern for each other’s well-being. Developing and monitoring rapport was a constant theme throughout my NLP training. In fact, rapport is so important that there are multiple NLP techniques that shouldn’t be explored without it!
The questions to ask yourself: How do I feel about this person? Am I comfortable speaking with them? Can I open up to them? If I was having a difficult time, would I reach out to them?
Pricing:
Pricing will certainly vary. Life Coaching rates can be impacted by a number of different criteria, such as: country; experience of the coach; how long each session runs; and, the number of sessions. That’s before we factor in potential discounts such as seasonal or referral-based discounts. An additional consideration is exchange rates (Euro vs USD vs CDN).
I utilize a retainer model; my clients pay me a monthly fee and we work together as required to help them progress. At minimum, we meet for a 90-minute session each month and exchange texts or emails between sessions. On occasion, we will have additional meetings during the month if they have something specific they want to discuss.
Frequency of Sessions:
Once again, this varies from coach-to-coach. Many will sell their clients a multi-month program, others will work on a per session basis.
A question you may want to ask a potential coach trying to sell you on a multi-month program: “How do you know I need six sessions?”.
Delivery Method:
In person or remote platform (Zoom, Teams, etc…).
From a coaching perspective, it is important that we have a clear connection with our client. Being able to clearly see and hear our client is critical for us. In my opinion, remote works well enough providing the internet connection is strong. Having said that, an in-person meeting is the best option if it is available.
Background:
The importance of a coach’s background is likely the most subjective element. Please consider reviewing my article Training vs Coaching as a supplemental resource for this section.
Many people will want to work with a coach that has a shared life experience, be it: married; divorced; with or without kids. Other people will primarily be interested in the coach’s professional aptitude. Those considerations make perfect sense to me; but, there is also merit in working with a coach that has limited experience with your goals.
I recall a time during my coach training when another student asked if we could address her fear of public speaking, and as that was an issue I dealt with myself, I jumped at the chance to help! Well, about 10 minutes in, the head trainer stopped me and asked me why I was struggling so badly. I answered: “Because I’m not curious, I’m not listening, I’m telling her about my experience and trying to fix her.” In that instance I was assuming the role of a trainer, not a coach. Lesson learned!
My opinion on this topic is that background and experience is important, but not as important as rapport.
Referrals:
Referrals from friends, family, or colleagues can be very helpful. Perhaps just keep in mind that you are a different person and be sure to ask appropriate questions of both the coach and those that referred them.
Most coaches will have client quotes posted on their website. You could consider asking about a particular quote. Not only can that offer some insight into their practice, but it will also let you know how they treat confidentiality.
Final thoughts:
As soon as your initial exploratory call ends, makes some notes while it is fresh in your mind. Additionally, consider asking some closing questions that are important to you. I’ve been asked questions such as: Why did I become a coach? What is my favorite aspect of coaching? What is my biggest strength? Biggest weakness?
I’m confident that the right coach is out there for you, it just may take a bit of research and several interviews. It will be a worthy endeavour!
Best wishes,
Mike